Pregnancy #1 vs. Pregnancy #2

Pregnancy #1 vs. Pregnancy #2 won at the polls: check out the topics for next week over to the right.

I have been very amused at the differences in #1 vs #2. I will highlight some of them for you through my experience.

Reaction
#1: Elation. With the first one, we tried for 6 months to get pregnant and when that little test said pregnant I was so excited! Mike and I had one of those movie moments where he picked me up and spun me around and there was music playing and birds were singing.
#2: Denial. We have already established that I am a planner. Baby #2 was not supposed to happen yet. Apparently God didn't look at my master plan. I refused to admit that 10 days late meant I should probably take a test. When Mike finally convinced me, I knew what it would say. He was stoked, I crawled into bed. Now let me clarify: I was not upset about having another baby, I just didn't want to do the 9 months leading up to it so soon after #1. Can I get an Amen?

Documentation
#1: I took a picture of my growing belly regularly.

Me at 20 weeks with Madison

#2: I went looking for the purposes of this blog to find a pic of me pregnant with #2. This is the closest I could find. I guess I should probably take a pregnant picture soon or I will miss my opportunity.

I think technically this picture is of Madison, but I was 20ish weeks at the time.

Doctor's Appointments
#1: They always seemed so far away and I was so excited with each one. My mom and I would make a date of it. Go to lunch, to the doctor maybe shopping all while discussing the latest developments in the pregnancy. Every little concern was brought up and discussed at length. My mom was so good to me, listening to every single little thing.
#2: Last weekend I realized I had an appt Tuesday and no sitter lined up. Man, it seemed like I should have a few more weeks before that appt crept up on me. Oh well, found a sitter, drove down there, had nothing really to report. I told my doctor a few weeks ago that I think I'm gonna refuse doing the glucose testing because I didn't feel like taking the time for it and if I'm gonna get a sitter for 2 hours I don't want to be sitting at the lab. It didn't go over well. I ended up doing the test, but I made sure he knew I thought it was ridiculous. I imagine compliance goes down with each pregnancy.

Rule Following
#1: I never stood on a chair, or lifted something too heavy. I was very good about it. I would worry if I overdid it. I was constantly concerned that something I would do would harm the baby.
#2: Well my compliance was shot on my first appt when they told me not to lift more than 20 pounds and I had a 25 pound daughter at home. I just laughed at her. That was probably rude. I have stood on chairs, jumped over things, chased Madison through stores, climbed over sleep chairs at work and carried my daughter while vacuuming. This is all not to mention what Madison herself has done to my belly: kicked, hit, stood on, sat on, punched and poked (the poking is increasing as he gets bigger) and she keeps trying to push my belly back in - it's like she knows he will take away her only child-ness. He may come out with a bruise or two.

Spouse involvement
#1: Everyday Mike would come home and ask how I'm feeling and how the baby's doing. We would spend hours talking about her and what we thought she would be like and what features we wanted her to have. I wanted his dimples and he wanted my blue eyes (God gave us both). On days off, we would sleep in and feel the baby move and then sleep some more. Every night we went for a walk hand in hand. There was more movie music.

#2: I think for the first few months we both forgot I was pregnant. If he remembered, he'd ask how I'm doing. We like to talk about him, but don't have as much time. Lazy mornings have turned into taking turns getting up with Madi. Now we wonder if this baby will look like Madi or not instead of ourselves. Our walks are contingent on her mood and involve a stroller which makes hand holding awkward and not practical. Sometimes I fall behind Mike and Madi and think, I'm just gonna sit down right here and never move. I might try it sometime.


Sometimes I feel really bad about the differences and I feel like I need to spend more time on #2, but to be honest I have to do what I can to survive and cope. Instead of beating myself up, I have to find the humor in it. I am sure God is. I know that I will make it because he promised me I would.

"He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless. Even youths will become weak and tired, and young men will fall in exhaustion. But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:29-31

This #2 pregnancy has really shattered my illusion of having everything together and to be honest, I think it's good for me. I feel weak and tired and exhausted and it is teaching me to rely on God's strength and promise that I will make it. It's easier said than done and I'm not always very good at it - now I just have to remember that when she wakes up . . .