Thankfulness- the good, the bad and the ugly

Mike and I say to each other often, "Isn't our life great?" And it truly it. And I mean truly. Sometimes we list all the things we are thankful for and we thank God for blessing us beyond our dreams. I think he is naturally more thankful than I am, though. Whenever I am having a bad day or stressed or get caught up in what I wasn't able to accomplish in a day, he looks at me and says, "Isn't our life great?" I need that constant reminder because being a mom is something I am so so so thankful for and I don't ever want to loose sight of that due to my type A nature.

Today I was thinking about this topic and what I would write about. I got Madison ready to go to the store. We were in the car, listening to music and she was "singing" in the backseat. I LOVE it when she does that. I was so thankful for my life and the great things in it - then a ginormous bird pooped right in front of my face on my windshield. Awesome.

Sometimes we have to take the good, the bad and the ugly and just be thankful anyways.

The good - little smiles, little hands, little feet, little kisses, little discoveries. All the things you dream about when you are pregnant - those are the good things. Snuggles and laughs, first steps and holidays. The list really goes on and on and on. Everyone has their own favorite things. The other day Madison woke up earlier than normal. So I got up with her and was so tired and thought she was too so I brought her back in bed with us. She was laying between Mike and I. I told her that Mommy and Daddy are still sleeping and she needs to also. So she laid there looking bright-eyed at me. Then she turned toward Mike and poked him right in the nose and said "nose." Then she said, "Da-Da" "Hi" and waved. It was so funny we couldn't help but laugh. So instead of sleeping a little longer we were up playing with our daughter. Those are good times. Those are the memories you want to remember. Those are easy to be thankful for.

The Good - 3 Month Birthday

The bad - late nights, no free time, poop on your hand, discipline (Yuk), sharing your water glass (double yuk), messy house, gum licking, etc. I would really like to have a day where I can drink water from my glass and not have a toddler wanting to backwash in it. Sippy cups are not cool anymore. Its all about Mommy's glass. Its so much cooler - you can spit in it, you can spill it, you can hide it. I mean obviously, why would she drink from her own sippy? But seriously, there are things about being a Mom that aren't my favorite. But I need to be thankful anyway. I am learning to be stretched and I am helping raise an amazing little girl. When Madison was only a few months old, I remember Mike getting up with her. He went to change her diaper and was obviously not ready for what he found. These are the phrases I heard from my bed "Wow Madison, this is huge" "Oh no, it's on my hand" "Don't put your foot in it!" "Oh crap, now its on your jammies" "Stop kicking" To him it was bad, but I remember feeling so thankful and happy in that moment. I had an awesome daughter who could produce some major poops and I had a husband who took care of it instead of calling me to do it - plus he provided some entertainment. I was one blessed new Mommy.

The Bad - yes that is poop

The ugly - When I think about the ugly parts of Motherhood, to me it really is when something happens to your baby that is out of your control. Taking her to her first shots, the first time she bleeds, the first times another kid takes something away from her or she gets knocked down. And nothing is worse than when you provide the injury yourself. Yesterday, Madison was standing on the couch watching me put things away, when I was walking back down the hallway I looked at her like I was gonna tickle her - she laughed and threw her head back and on the way forward she slammed it into the wooden part of the couch. She cried forever and now looks like Rudolph. I feel so bad about it. I feel as if I personally hurt her. I have many stories like this and it is painful for me every time she gets hurt. She is a tough cookie so when she really cries you know it really hurt. It is hard to be thankful in these times. What I am thankful for is that she will grow up in a safe home with parents who love her and who would never purposefully hurt her.

The Ugly - Rudolph the red nosed toddler

God is waiting to bless us in all areas of our life - the good, the bad, and the ugly parts. Our job is to be thankful in every area.

"Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16

"O our God, we thank you and praise your glorious name!" 1 Chronicles 29:13

I need to remember that God's blessings are abundant in my life and I need to be thankful in all circumstances. Even when things are good or bad or just plain ugly - my life has purpose and it is awesome to be living for God! In what area of your life do you need to be more thankful?

What topic should I write about next week? Vote to the right.

Pick Your Battles

Baseball games are long. They are not entertaining for a 15 month old. Everything that happens at a baseball game besides the game is what entertains Madison. She doesn't want to sit and watch like her Dad and I do, she wants to walk around. She says 'Hi' to everyone 15 times a minute and tries to catch boys on scooters. She asks for 'more' of what everyone else is eating and thinks everyone came to watch her. She is pretty much the cutest thing you'll ever see at a baseball game.

Madi with Daddy at her first Big League Game

Remember my first sentence. Moment of silence please.

 As it was my turn to watch Madi at the last game, she found an area where the snack bar had dumped out some ice on the concrete. It was hot out and she got right down in it. She was smearing her hands in it and putting the ice in her mouth, rubbing her binki in it and just loving life. Now this is where I have to weigh my decision. My first instinct was 'that is so discusting', then I was thinking about how it must feel nice to get all wet in this heat and really what harm is she doing. (OK, honestly, it looked a little fun) Then someone walked by and I heard them say, "look at that baby, that's so gross."  This is one of those battles that I'm not sure if I want to take on or not. Its a gray battle for me.

Some of them are easy: Last Sunday, Mike let me sleep in and got up with Madi. (Isn't he awesome!) Anyway, when I got up, they were like perfect little greeters in the living room each with a bowl of cereal and a big smile when they saw me. I woke up in heaven, looking at my 2 favorite people. Then when Mike went to take a shower, Madi looked at me with a challenging look and dumped out her cereal. Back to reality. This is definitely a battle I am taking on. She learned the hard way that that behavior will not fly. And I learned the hard way that teaching her a lesson is just if not more taxing on me!  Her stink eye is fierce!

Example of stink eye

I do not always pick the right battles and sometimes my parenting backfires. I have to admit that I have no idea what I am doing most of the time. But I have learned that when I pick a battle I have to be consistent with it. It took 10 mins for Madi to pick up all her cereal with all the pouting and fit throwing, but I knew that since I picked it, I had to see it through. It was rough and I felt like I was beating my head against the wall. I need daily wisdom in my parenting and its something I pray for every single day.

"If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you." James 1:5

"Who are those who fear the Lord? He will show them the path they should choose." Psalm 25:12

When I look at her with God's eyes, I see the amazing woman of God she will become. Her personality is huge and I have the important job of helping mold her into that woman. My calling is to teach her how to act without breaking her sweet spirit.  I need help knowing when to curb Madi's behavior and when to, as my husband says, let it ride. How great is it that we have a heavenly father who is eager to help us when we don't know what to do!

Sing a New Song

I don't like change. There's just something about me that tends to resist it. I have always liked routine and tradition and all my ducks in a row. If you know me - you know that. Looking back, there are few changes that I was really excited about. Things like graduations, getting married, buying a house and being a mom. Even in those changes, not everything is a fun change. Harder school work, learning to live with another person, a mortgage, and the unknown adventure of motherhood.

Being a new mom has brought an enormous amount of change in my life. Most of it is amazing. Looking at my daughter's face in the morning as she is calling for me, teaching her new words, showing her how things work, and feeling so proud when she remembers something or calls something by the right word. Watching her explore her world and discover things brings the most intense satisfaction and joy to my life.

Ready to explore!

 Now lets talk a minute about the changes that aren't so awesome. I have less time to be organized, I am tired pretty much all the time, I don't cook or grocery shop as often, and the one that really gets my ducks-in-a-row nature: My house is a complete disaster. Madison is like baby Hulk, she destroys everything in her path. As a result, I have had to change how my house is set up and decorated.  If you see any of my pictures on facebook, you will note that the background is bound to have a random shoe, or article of clothing or toy or a kitchen stacked with dishes. My ducks are no longer in a row. I can't even find them. They might be dead.

Perfect example of messy house picture:
 note the random toys and raisins on the floor, I think thats half a bottle too.

Maybe some moms don't have this problem, but I would imagine every mom would have some area of change that really gets them. The second key I have found to being a mom is to Sing a New Song.

"He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see what he has done and be amazed. They will put their trust in the Lord." Psalm 40:3

"Sing a new song to the Lord! Let the whole earth sing to the Lord!" Psalm 96:1

There are many songs and scriptures that talk about singing a new song. I don't know what it meant to the psalmist but recently when I was singing a song with those lyrics, I knew that being a mom was my new song. I have decided that my house is just gonna be messy. And thats ok. (now, I have to tell myself that over and over sometimes) It is more important to God and Madison and Mike that I am a mother who invests in my child and loves on her.

I still have days where I just really want time to clean my house (actually, how about it magically cleans itself while I catch up on some sleep). But, when I wake up in the morning and decide that my new song is going to be one of thankfulness and love and messy house, I have a wonderful mommy day. Those days when I can sing my new song to the fullest are the best days on earth!

Trust

Being a mom changes things. It starts off slow, you gain weight. You feel terrible. Something kicks you from the inside. But we don't care about these things because you know what you are getting in return. The minute you see that little thing that's been causing you all that discomfort, you would do it all again.

My sweet, sweet little girl

I am almost 15 months into being a mom and I have observed some things. As I was laying in bed the other night with baby number 2 kicking the crap out of my uterus and watching my husband sleep, I thought I might share some things I have learned, am learning and have discovered about being a mom. Sometimes it helps knowing you're not alone, or learning from others, or just laughing at other people's experiences. This is the purpose of my blog, if nothing else, be amused by me trying it.

I am not the type of mom I thought I would be. No matter what you are told or prepare for, there are things you can't predict about being a mom. The other day at my brother's baseball game I watched my daughter lick dried gum off the bleachers. Before I was a mom, if I saw a little one do that I would have probably said something to myself like, "I would never let MY kid do that." Well there you go pre-mom Asheena, there's your kid licking gum off the bleachers. Naturally, I stopped her - don't worry all you pre-moms. But there was a certain part of me that was like, "well at least she's occupied."

Gum Licker

Anyway, I can't predict what will happen and things rarely go my way so I have discovered one thing about being a mom and am daily learning it: TRUST. I choose to trust that God has a plan and his plan is better than mine. After all, he gave her to me and he loves her more than I ever could - which by the way must be an insane amount because I love her more than my life.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take." Proverbs 3:5-6

"For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11

I know that those days when I have the greatest job in the world and my joy is matched with my frustration, God is there for me. In the easy days, and the gum licking days, he designed my life to look like this in this moment and I trust that he will carry me through.